Boom Town
by Jewels12
Summary: When Stars Hollow experiences a population dry spell, two unsuspecting people are drawn together… for the good of the town, of course!


_A/N: This story is dedicated to the one and only __**bigbagofweird**__, affectionately known as Boom. She was the lucky winner of yours truly in the first Support Stacie Auction – which makes this story incredibly late. I figured it was high time to start paying my dues. Her request was for me to write a pre-series L/L piece incorporating a number of her suggested words/phrases. A return to the days of old when I used to play the Word Game: an interactive game that incorporated readers' suggested words into each chapter of my stories. You'll soon realize why I stopped playing that game. My head still hurts. Anyway, I'll share the words that Boom instructed me to use at the end of this story._

_One last thing to note, the Support Stacie Author Auction is fast approaching. On April 3 – 6, come out and bid on your favourite authors in this fantastic charitable event. For more information, visit:__ .__ I too am on the auction block, so if you want a piece of me, you know what to do._

_And now, without further ado, let's all go to Stars Hollow!_

It was Saturday morning and the diner was buzzing with activity. Patty and Babette were seated in the corner, gushing over a baby that sat at a neighbouring table. The parents were clearly tourists, but it wasn't the maps and cameras resting beside their plates that gave it away.

For the first time in its history, the town of Stars Hollow was experiencing a dry spell on the baby front. The population had been increasingly stagnant of late, and it was an issue that was on everyone's mind… well, everyone with a name starting with Taylor. This was a problem that no amount of bulletin boards, pamphlets or educational videos could fix. He'd called a town meeting, determined to instil the same level of urgency and panic within his citizens. Taylor started off the festivities by reading a list of statistics: birth rates, death rates, and urbanization patterns. He'd mumbled something about the young and irresponsible crowd moving to bigger city centres, and neglecting their reproductive obligations. Taylor was poised and graceful, firm in his beliefs, flawless in his delivery. It was a very successful meeting… or so he thought.

If nothing else, the town meeting seemed to inspire a new level of awareness and anxiety in the townspeople. Friendly greetings and casual glances were now mistaken for acts of intimacy. And God help you if you tried to steal a kiss. It was as though Stars Hollow had been sucked into a time warp and crash landed somewhere in the early 1900's.

The lonely bachelors, led by Kirk, were under the belief that they were merely fulfilling their civic duty by coaxing fertile women into their awaiting arms. The bachelorettes were quite content in their loneliness, hiding behind rocks, dumpsters and tractor trailers to elude their pursuers.

Babette and Miss Patty chuckled at the madness outside the diner, musing over who should and should not procreate.

"Bill Jenkins and Marlene Edwards," Babette rasped.

"Yes, definitely!" Patty enthused. "Ooh, Katie Michaels and Herb Downing. That woman has hips from here to Kansas City."

Babette nodded enthusiastically. "You got that right, sugah."

The bells jingled as Lorelai entered the diner. Patty and Babette beamed, and Lorelai cautiously followed their summoning waves.

"Now there's a baby-making machine if I ever saw one," Babette remarked.

Lorelai held her hands up in protest. "Hey, I helped contribute to the population already. Pick someone else."

"Honey, when you've got a face like that, it's a crime against humanity to stop at just one," Patty insisted.

"Well, my one and I are very happy. Anyway, I'm sure you'll get some babies soon enough. Aren't Fred and Lucille expecting?"

Babette smacked her forehead. "God help us."

Patty plugged her nose in distaste. "Oy, I could plotz."

Lorelai shook her head and walked up to the counter.

Patty and Babette looked on as Luke moved to stand in front of her. "Those two would make delicious babies, wouldn't they?" Patty ruminated.

"You ain't kiddin'."

"Hey, what's with all the baby talk?" Lorelai asked Luke as she slid onto a stool.

He squinted at her in confusion, then nodded slowly, remembering that she'd been absent during the previous evening's meeting. "Apparently Taylor's new mandate is to entice those of prime age to start reproducing."

"Prime age?" Lorelai asked in amusement.

"His words, not mine."

"And how exactly does he intend to entice the _prime_ population?"

"He's offering monetary rewards."

Lorelai's eyes widened. "Monetary? You don't say."

"You're not actually considering this, are you?"

She shrugged and said nonchalantly, "Well, money talks."

"I hear Kirk's on the market," Luke offered teasingly.

"Okay, you just killed my enthusiasm," Lorelai said, slumping against the countertop.

"You'll thank me later."

"Pour me a cup of coffee and I'll thank you now." She smiled, giving him an encouraging nudge toward the coffee pot.

Lorelai had only known Luke for a few years, but it surprised her how quickly they had become friends, friends that shared secrets and dreams, and depended on each other through good times and bad. She valued his friendship more than she would ever admit, but somehow she was confident that he knew that. And she was pretty certain that she played a major role in his life, too. Never before had she been friends with a man without it becoming something more. Not that she was opposed to the possibility with Luke, but that was a territory that they tiptoed around with practiced precision.

"So, what about you?" she asked Luke as he passed her a steaming cup of coffee. "You jumpin' on the baby makin' wagon?"

"No," he said succinctly and without a hint of amusement.

"I bet Taylor would offer a tidy sum just for your swimmers alone, if you know what I mean," she said, winking playfully.

"You're sick, you know that?"

Lorelai lowered her head and giggled. "Imagine all the star athletes running around the town. Little Butch Juniors. You'd put Stars Hollow back on the map, Big Daddy." She hit his shoulder for emphasis.

Luke groaned. "You really need therapy."

She took a large gulp of coffee and gestured for him to replace her mug with a to-go cup. He was used to her routine, so he did so without question. "Well, I'm off," she told him. "Watch your back, Butch. I see Miss Patty eyeing you already."

"Keep your legs crossed," he retorted.

They both grinned as she slipped him some bills and turned on her heel, exiting the building.

B~B~B~B~B~B~B

Lorelai and Sookie walked leisurely through the square, noticing the lack of goings-on in the streets. People were hiding indoors now.

"I'm not ready to have kids yet. At least, I don't think I am," Sookie mused, as they ambled along.

"I'm not ready, either. Well, for the second one," Lorelai amended.

"Maybe we should practice on something. Ooh, I know! Let's get pets, and if we can't take good care of them, then we'll know that we're not fit to be parents."

"Great. And how should I break that news to Rory?" Sookie giggled. "What kind of pets?" Lorelai asked out of curiosity.

Sookie bit her lip. She hadn't thought that far ahead. "Um, I don't know… fish?"

"Fish?" Lorelai repeated, a smirk on her face.

"Yeah, I mean, if they should…you know… die, it wouldn't be the end of the world."

"That's very considerate of you. Does the World Wildlife Fund know about you?"

Sookie frowned. "Well, it was just an idea. We could even name the fish," she pointed out, lighting up once again at the thought.

"Sure, we could do that."

"Like Snoopy, or… or, Spanky! Oooooh, Nemo!"

Lorelai stared at her friend with a perplexed expression on her face. "Where on earth are you pulling these names from?"

"No good?"

"Uh, the word bizarre comes to mind."

Sookie sighed, collapsing her weight onto a nearby bench. Lorelai took a seat beside her. They were quietly contemplative for several minutes before Sookie said in a voice barely above a whisper, "Okay, so I lied about the kids." Lorelai's eyes flickered in surprise. "I want kids, I want a family. My biological clock is like a ticking time bomb. But I don't even have a man in my life, and I'm not getting any younger. I mean, look at me!" she cried, pointing to a barely visible indentation on her forehead. "I'm covered in wrinkles! No man is ever going to want me now." Her lower lip quivered as she flopped forward, resting her elbows on her knees.

Lorelai pulled her friend into a soothing hug. "Sookie, sweetie, you're letting this whole town mandate get to you. You are a very desirable woman and any man would be lucky to have you in his life. In fact, if I'm not mistaken, I could have sworn I saw Jackson checking you out the other day. I think he's totally into you."

Sookie smiled, her back returning to the bench. "Jackson? Really? Our produce guy?"

Lorelai nodded enthusiatically. "The one and only."

"He is kinda cute," she remarked, her dimples breaking through to the surface of her cheeks.

"He's very cute," Lorelai agreed. "And he knows food, Sook. I think this is a match made in culinary heaven."

Sookie giggled softly, her ruffled demeanour completely repaired. "Maybe I should… um, should I call him?"

"Yeah, you could – "

"Or maybe he's at the inn. I should go back to the inn," Sookie said, rising to her feet in a fog of excitement. "Oh, but I need some thyme," she quickly remembered, glad that it came to her while she was still in town and near the grocery store.

Lorelai frowned. "You have plenty of time, hon. You don't have to rush things."

"No, _thyme_, as in the herb," Sookie clarified, laughing.

"Well, then, what are we waiting for?" Lorelai said rhetorically as she hopped up from the bench and walked with Sookie to the market.

B~B~B~B~B~B~B

A week had passed, and still, the panic-stricken female citizens of Stars Hollow were on red alert. The men had slowed down their aimless and desperate solo pursuits and had actually started strategizing as a group. No one would say where they secretly met, although, Bootsy's house was often speculated.

Lorelai breezed into the diner clutching several bags in her hands, her hair wind-swept and her cheeks tinged with red, a kiss from the cool fall air. She smiled at Luke as she approached the counter and plopped down on her favourite stool. He poured her a hot cup of coffee without question, sensitive to the chill of the season and happy to be the guy responsible for warming her up.

"You getting harassed much?" Luke casually asked, leaning against the back counter.

She smiled. "Nah. And as much as that relieves me, I must admit, I'm a little disappointed, too." She took a long sip of her coffee allowing the warm liquid to linger in her mouth before swallowing. "How about you?"

He shrugged. "Not so much." She nodded her head in understanding. If she hadn't known better, she might have supposed that the town had somehow designated her and Luke as 'off limits'.

They both turned at the sound of Gypsy's growl. Three men had cornered her table, and she whipped her toolbelt around as a means to protect herself. "Back off," she warned. "I've got a taser in here!"

Lorelai snickered, swivelling on her stool and regaining Luke's attention. "We're living in a world of warcraft, my friend."

Luke smiled, his eyes moving to the front window of the diner. Outside, Taylor's unmistakable figure was toting a clip board in one hand, a megaphone in the other, and Kirk was trailing behind him like an obedient puppy dog, clutching a stack of paper tightly to his chest. When he made a motion to stick one of the sheets of paper to the diner's door, Luke bolted around the counter and yanked the door open, causing Kirk to stumble inside and lose his entire collection of posters. It was truly a beautiful sight as they soared through the air, almost like giant snow flakes, landing on plates, tables and chairs, even in the laps of some patrons.

Luke fumed. "Out!" he barked at Kirk. "Grab your stinkin' posters and get out! And tell Taylor that whatever he's up to, he won't get away with it, not on my watch."

The door was still half open, undoubtedly due to a broken hinge. Taylor called inside from the safety of the sidewalk, "Lucas, be reasonable! This is for the good of the town."

Kirk was on his hands and knees, grasping desperately for paper, eager to escape Luke's menacing glare. Luke snatched a poster from Kirk's growing pile and quickly scanned the contents: _'Stars Hollow is "due" for a giant sidewalk sale on Wednesday, October 22__nd__, featuring outrageously low-priced baby items! The first 10 customers will get a free pacifier!! Come out and show your support, and don't be late, baby! ;)_

Luke nearly hurled. There was an actual wink symbol on the poster. Yeah, he knew what a wink symbol looked like. What of it?

Kirk rose to his feet, slowly backing away from Luke as he held tightly to his crumpled mountain of posters. "So, um, are we good here?" he asked nervously.

"Beat it, Kirk," Luke responded curtly.

"Yes, sir," Kirk said, bolting out the door to catch up to Taylor.

Luke sighed, forcing the door shut behind the frail man. He briefly scanned the diner to make sure the unwanted debris had all been removed, and his eyes landed on the back of Lorelai. He walked quietly behind her and gently removed a stray paper that was trapped in the hood of her sweater.

Without warning, Lorelai whirled around, coming face to chest with Luke. She looked up into his eyes, and he down to hers, and they both chuckled, a faint blush tingeing their cheeks. After a long pause, he finally stepped to the side of her, showing her the evidence of his close proximity. She smiled, taking the paper from his hand and reading it for herself. Luke was eager for her reaction to the ridiculous poster.

Lorelai's eyes lit up and she snorted out loud. "Oh my God… 'don't be late, baby?' Is he serious?"

"It would appear so." Luke skirted around the counter and stood opposite her, propping his elbows on the cool surface.

"Well, although I'm opposed to the principal of the event, I'd never run from a sidewalk sale."

Luke shook his head. "Yeah, you've definitely got a big need for baby supplies," he mocked.

"Hey, why not get while the getting is good?" she argued in her defence.

"You'll be lucky to get 10% off."

"That's 10% less than I'll have to pay when Junior here comes along," Lorelai said, patting her stomach for effect. She smirked at Luke's shocked expression. "Oh, don't act so surprised," she sniffed. "I still have the goods. It's only a matter of time before one of these baby-hungry bachelors knocks me up."

As much as he hated it, he couldn't stop the smile that spread on his face. "You're cracked, you know that?"

She grinned, looking him square in the eyes, almost baiting him. "Hey, no one is stopping _you_, Luke. Get in line, buddy. I'm a hot commodity."

Luke chuckled softly and leaned a little closer to her. "You're too easy," he said in a whisper. "I need a challenge."

Her jaw dropped open, but her expression remained light. "Been workin' on that one, Butch?" He nodded to appease her. She smiled. "Not bad. Not bad at all."

"Thanks," he said gruffly. "Always nice to be recognized."

Lorelai cocked her head to the side and continued to examine him with keen interest. "You are just full of the funny today, aren't you?"

"Yeah. I'm a regular Jerry Seinfeld."

She giggled. "He the only comedian you know?"

Luke rolled his eyes. That was her answer.

Lorelai ducked down and grabbed her bags from the floor. "Well, I'm off," she told Luke. "I've got places to go and people to see. Coffee was fabulous," she added for good measure.

He smiled. "You still have to pay for it."

"Aw, rats." She grabbed some change from her purse a planted it in Luke's outstretched palm. There was enough of it to pay for another four cups of her precious java. "Later, Jerry," she said with a wink.

Luke shook his head, watching her as she exited his diner, and strolled down the sidewalk, his eyes never leaving her figure until she disappeared from sight.

B~B~B~B~B~B~B

Lorelai and Rory walked through the empty streets of Stars Hollow late Monday evening, their arms linked as they paraded around like they owned the place. It was an eerie kind of silence that loomed over the town, replacing the usual boisterous sounds of chatter and joviality with stark quiet.

"Ooh, look," Lorelai said, pulling on Rory's arm to slow her pace. "We have activity." She pointed her finger to a pair of figures about fifty feet away from them. The darkness of the night masked their identity, but they were unmistakably the shapes of a man and a woman.

Lorelai took a few steps closer to the objects of her curiosity, straining to see more than her eyes allowed. "Whoa… is that Luke?" she said, her voice carrying an alarming distance. "Crap."

Rory caught up to her mother, a smile on her face. "Yep, definitely Luke. He just looked over here."

"How can you see that?" Lorelai demanded. "Wait a minute… have you been eating carrots behind my back?"

"Yes, and I hide potatoes in my sock drawer," Rory deadpanned.

"Not even funny, kid," Lorelai returned, her eyes widening as she heard a high-pitched growl. "Shhh, shh, shh. Listen," she instructed Rory. Another growl resounded, followed by a blatant giggle. Lorelai rolled her eyes. "C'mere." She took her daughter's hand and moved them behind a nearby tree.

"Good plan, Stan. We probably should've moved before Luke spotted us, though. Might've added more to the mystique."

"What? How do you know he spotted us?"

"'Cause he just waved," Rory stated matter-of-factly.

"Damn it! How are you seeing this?"

"Oh, you know you want this, Butch. It's been far too long for both of us," the unidentified woman's voice croaked. "Let's go back to my place and try to work out some of the rust."

Lorelai's face contorted in disgust. "Ugh. I know that voice," she said in realization.

"Lorelai?" Luke called, his tone almost pleading. "Why are you standing behind that tree?" He began walking towards them, his lady friend close in tow.

"So much for my career in the CIA," Lorelai muttered.

Rory smiled, dragging her mother back into the open.

"Hey there!" Lorelai chimed, wearing a ridiculously guilty smile. Luke was five feet away now, and she could clearly make out his traveling companion: Carrie Duncan.

"Hi," Carrie said with a shocking lack of enthusiasm, as they closed the remaining distance.

"Taking an evening stroll, Carrie?" Lorelai inquired, lifting her eyebrows suspiciously. She glanced at Luke, catching a smirk before it faded from his lips.

Carrie shrugged, chuckling nervously. "I was just leaving, actually." Her eyes shifted to Luke. "My offer's still on the table," she told him. "It's _always_ on the table," she corrected in a husky tone. With that, she pivoted on her six-inch heels and strode away.

"So… Carrie Duncan," Lorelai said leadingly once she was out of earshot.

"Still as crazy as ever," Luke replied.

Lorelai nodded and said boldly, "Still as carnal as ever."

Rory cleared her throat, earning the attention of the two adults. "Uh, I think I'll go and see what Lane's up to. Okay?"

"Sure, sweets. Meet you back home."

"See you later, Rory," Luke said, shooting her a smile before she turned toward the Antiques store.

Luke started walking slowly in the opposite direction, expecting Lorelai to follow him. She did, with a broad grin on her face.

"So," she said, after a few seconds of silence, "how does it feel?"

He looked at her in confusion. "How does _what_ feel?"

"Knowing that even _you_ are not immune. The women are on the prowl now, Luke. It's only a matter of time before you're accosted again." She nudged him teasingly.

Luke groaned. "God help me. Stupid town. Stupid Taylor."

"I know," she soothed him. "But when you've got the goods, no woman can resist."

Luke stopped walking and levelled his eyes with hers. "I never know how to interpret anything you say."

Lorelai smiled slyly. "That's the way I like it."

Luke shook his head and resumed walking. "So, when do you think the madness will end?"

She fell into step with him again. "Well, I'd say that all depends on how successful Taylor's sidewalk sale is."

"Stupid Taylor," Luke grumbled. He glanced forlornly at the diner. "I, uh, really should get back."

Lorelai frowned. "But I'm not done talking."

"What else is there to talk about?"

"I wanna talk about me, I wanna talk about I…" She smiled at his blank expression. "It's okay," she said, nodding to the diner. "Go do your thing."

Regardless of her blessing, Luke remained unmoving. Lorelai furrowed her brow in question. "You, uh, want some coffee?" he asked unsurely.

She grinned, wrapping her coat tighter around her body. "Yeah. Love some."

He nodded, moving in step with her as they made the short trek to the diner.

B~B~B~B~B~B~B

Luke rested his chin in his upturned palms, watching with avid interest, the couple seated nearest the window in his diner. They had entered as the dinner rush thinned out, and still they remained, more than two hours later, as happy and as bubbly as they were when they'd first arrived.

The bells jingled as Lorelai crossed the threshold, smiling at a distracted Luke. She followed his line of sight, her eyes lighting up as she took in the familiar faces. "Hey, you two!" she said excitedly.

"Hi, Lorelai!" Sookie and Jackson replied simultaneously, wearing identical grins. It was sickeningly adorable.

Luke looked on as they exchanged pleasantries, choosing to zone out when the conversation drifted to zucchinis and whether or not they could be categorized as a fruit or a vegetable. That's when Lorelai decided to take her leave as well, allowing the couple some privacy.

"I don't care if it's a fruit _or _a vegetable, it's never going near my mouth," Lorelai informed Luke as she approached the counter.

He smirked. "And hello to you, too."

She laughed as she took a seat on the stool directly in front of him. "I've never heard of a green fruit before. Aren't all green things vegetables? That's how I know to stay away from them. Green means stop, in supermarket terminology."

"Kiwis, avocados, limes, Granny Smith apples… unripe bananas," Luke listed. "All green, all fruits."

"Wow. You and Jackson are made for each other," Lorelai said with a chuckle. "Poor Sookie never stood a chance."

Luke shook his head, lowering his voice to a conspiratorial level. "So, when did that all start, anyway?" he asked, his eyes flickering to Sookie and Jackson.

"Oh, about a week ago," Lorelai whispered, glancing back to admire the rosy-cheeked couple. She had to admit they were a perfect match. "I'm surprised it didn't start sooner. I think those two were destined to be together." She turned back to Luke and their eyes met, and locked, for several seconds. Her heart stopped, and his ticked madly. His lips parted, and hers tightened in a firmer line. Her hands shook in her lap, and his gripped the countertop, as they fell, slowly…

And snap, like a twig, the moment was gone. Stolen by a giggle that erupted like a volcano, from the smitten chef in the corner.

Lorelai inhaled deeply, feeling light-headed. "You going to the sidewalk sale?" she asked on an exhale.

The sound of her voice did nothing to calm Luke's racing pulse. "Someone's gotta stop Taylor," he answered in a thready voice.

She nodded, half-smiling as she slid from her stool and slung her purse over her shoulder. "See you there," she told him. And with that, she walked on unsteady legs to the door, waving to the two lovebirds along the way and praising God for the bitter wind that hit her upon exiting. It would have taken a cold snap comparable to the Ice Age to cool her heated blood.

B~B~B~B~B~B~B

It was bright and early Wednesday morning, and Stars Hollow looked like it had fallen from a stork's mouth with a big, shiny bow draped around it. Dozens of tables were set up along storefronts, containing every baby-related item known to mankind, marked at "ridiculously low prices". Taylor stood on a podium in the centre of the street – barricades had been set up to prevent traffic flow – dressed in a blindingly red vest and holding proudly to his megaphone. Kirk stood to his immediate left, clutching a much smaller, and seemingly inoperative megaphone of his own.

Lorelai and Sookie walked along the outskirts of the square, marvelling at the surrounding spectacle. "This is nuts," Lorelai said, her jaw dropping in awe. "I mean, there are normal sidewalk sales, and then there are Taylor-enforced, Apocalypse Now, sidewalk sales."

"Jambalaya!" Sookie shouted in response.

Lorelai raised her eyebrows in amusement. "I'm sorry, what? Is that a new curse word?"

Sookie giggled. "No, I was totally craving it the other day, but I couldn't remember what I was craving."

"I think I understand that," Lorelai said, laughing.

Taylor's amplified voice pierced through the air, gaining the attention of the crowd. "Citizens, I would like to officially welcome you to the first annual Stars Hollow Sidewalk Sale Extravaganza!" He waited for the applause to die down. "This is the kind of event that puts small towns on the map," he bloviated. "Kirk, stop touching the displays," he added sternly, causing an uproar of laughter. "Now, without further ado, let's open our hearts… and our wallets, and go baby crazy! On your marks, get set, SHOP!"

Despite Taylor's best efforts, the mad rush that he was hoping for didn't exactly happen. Instead, people casually made their way over to the tables, politely picking through the merchandise as they exchanged idle chit-chat with their friends and neighbours.

"May I remind you," Taylor boomed, "that this is a one day sale _only_. So, make haste! Oh, and all sales are final."

Lorelai and Sookie visited a table covered in baby clothes in front of Doose's market. Patty and Babette squeezed in next to them, cooing over the tiny little outfits.

"Oh, look at all these adorable onesies!" Patty gushed, her beaming face quickly turning pale as she noticed the price tag. "Is that the sale price?"

"That's correct," Kirk's voice squeaked from behind.

"Kirk, hon, I think your megaphone is defective," Lorelai told him gently.

Kirk swallowed hard. "Yeah, that's what he said."

"Who, the megaphone?" Babette asked legitimately.

"No, Taylor," Kirk answered. "I'm just gonna hold onto it, though. You know, just in case."

Lorelai smirked. "Yeah, sure. That's, um, a good idea," she said, patting Kirk's shoulder as he turned and slumped away.

"Boy, that Taylor really boils my craw," Babette rasped, dropping the overpriced onesies in her hand and stomping to the next table.

In the next moment, Gypsy entered the scene, wearing a dumbfounded expression. "What the hell is all this?"

"Didn't you get the memo, Gypsy?" Lorelai asked in amusement.

"What memo, that Babies"R"Us was going to throw up on Stars Hollow?"

Lorelai smiled. "Yes, that's the one."

Gypsy visibly shuddered. "I gotta get outta here."

Lorelai chuckled as Gypsy took off in a jog and nearly bowled over Andrew. She glanced back at Sookie, who was currently holding ten little outfits tightly to her chest, tears edging her hormonal eyes. "C'mon, Sook," Lorelai said, grabbing her by the arm. "Let's take a walk." Their feet carried them to the gazebo, and they climbed the steps, taking a seat on the bench. The diner was in their field of vision, and Lorelai took a heavy sigh as memories from the other night came flooding back to her.

Sookie picked up on her friend's shaky demeanour. "Lorelai, what's wrong?"

Lorelai shifted to face Sookie and began timidly, "You know the other night, when you and Jackson were in the diner?" Sookie nodded. "Luke and I were talking at the counter, and I guess I said something that kind of, um, hit a little too close to home."

"Was it something that upset him?" Sookie asked.

"No, no… it was, well, quite the opposite, actually." Sookie's lips started to curl upwards of their own volition. "And we shared this look," Lorelai recalled thoughtfully. "I don't know… I mean, we've had looks before, Sook, but this was… this felt completely different. It was in an entirely different realm."

"Oh my God!" Sookie squealed, unable to contain her excitement any longer. "You guys would make incredible babies!"

Lorelai smiled, rolling her eyes. "Sookie, focus."

Sookie bit her lip in apology. "Sorry, go on."

"There was a moment," Lorelai said quietly. "We had a moment. But we haven't talked about it since, so I really have no idea what Luke's thinking, or if I'm just crazy, or if this baby thing is getting to me, or –"

"Sweetie," Sookie interrupted, placing her hand on Lorelai's arm, "he's crazy about you. Has been since the day he first laid eyes on you." Lorelai blushed, lowering her eyes to the floor. "Just answer me this," Sookie said. "If you and Luke were strangers, and this whole baby propaganda thing didn't exist, and you knew he wanted you, and wanted to be with you… would that make any difference?"

Lorelai frowned and answered honestly, "No."

Sookie nodded appreciatively. "He'd still be Luke and you'd still be Lorelai."

"You're right."

"He's such a great guy."

"I know," Lorelai practically whispered, her eyes moving to the front door of the diner. Both women smiled as Luke stepped outside, murder in his eyes.

"Oh, this oughta be good," Sookie said, giggling. She and Lorelai rose to their feet at the same time and headed back over to the festivities to witness the inevitable Luke/Taylor showdown. Luke noticed Lorelai out of the corner of his eye and his expression immediately softened.

"Oh crap!" Sookie muttered, slapping her forehead. "I forgot about Jackson!"

"Hmm?" Lorelai asked as they descended the stairs.

"Jackson and I have a date to buy fish."

"Oh, so Jackson's in favour of the 'playing house with pets' idea?"

Sookie beamed. "Yes, he thinks I'm really onto something. We're both buying two fish. Anyway, I need to run. Have fun! Talk to Luke," she finished seriously before scurrying away as fast as her little legs would allow.

Luke approached Lorelai with a curious smile on his face. "Where's she off to in such a hurry?" he asked, pointing his thumb after Sookie's retreating form.

"She's finding Nemo."

"Huh?"

"Fish shopping," Lorelai reiterated. "The live variety."

"Ah," Luke said. "Why is she doing that?"

"Now that she has a man, she needs to decide if she's fit to be a mother, hence the fish."

"Still not following."

"Don't worry about it," Lorelai said, grinning. "So, you gonna stick it to Taylor?" Luke nodded. "Cool!"

They walked together, taking in the scenery. "God, look at this freak fest," Luke griped. It wasn't hard for him to spot Taylor, still standing proudly on his podium with a smug smile on his face. "Be right back," he told her.

Lorelai giggled in anticipation as Luke stormed up the platform stairs and tapped Taylor on the shoulder. Mr. Doose gasped in shock as Luke pried the megaphone out of his hands and publicly blasted him. Nearly every citizen of Stars Hollow had witnessed a Luke rant before, but never in surround sound. It was… loud.

"You've reduced these people to quivering masses, Taylor!" Luke shouted. "You cannot force people to procreate! You are not God, no matter how much you pretend to be. And all of this crap," he said, gesturing to the countless tables of baby products, "isn't going to change anything! Now, take down these tables, get another hobby and leave us the hell alone!" The sound of applause that filled the streets was almost deafening. There were whistles and shouts of approval from every direction. Luke smiled in satisfaction, briefly savouring his moment in the limelight. Then, without warning, he dropped Taylor's megaphone and walked with purpose toward one of the display tables.

Taylor snatched his precious speaking-trumpet from the platform, dusting it off and nestling it to his breast. "Lucas!" he finally responded, "step away from that table!"

The crowd watched in silence.

Luke gripped the edge of the table, his forearms flexing as he prepared to tip it over. "What are you gonna do, Taylor?"

"Lucas, I'm warning you!" Taylor cried.

"You can't stop me, Taylor!" Luke released the table and instead picked up various items that rested on top of it, tossing them carelessly into the air. Baby diapers, bottles, pacifiers and toys came crashing down into the street. Lorelai rushed to Luke's side and gently coaxed him into a calmer state of being.

"Hey, let's go cool off, okay?" she asked him.

He nodded, his chest heaving from exertion. "I'm not done with you, Taylor," Luke warned feebly, his voice now hoarse.

Lorelai draped her arm around Luke's shoulder and guided him along the sidewalk and away from prying eyes. They ducked into the alleyway beside the diner, and rested against the wall.

"And that concludes our half-time show," they heard Taylor's voice call from the street.

"I'll show you a half-time show," Luke growled, lurching forward, but Lorelai pressed against his chest, forcing him to stay put.

"Hey," she said softly. "Just relax, okay? You proved your point. Ruining perfectly good baby products isn't going to change anything. No matter how overpriced they are," Lorelai added under her breath.

Luke sighed. "I know. I kinda lost it back there."

Lorelai smirked. "I noticed." She squeezed his arm in reassurance. "You know, up until that whole table thing, you were really working the crowd," she told him.

He chuckled. "Yeah, guess I let the power get to me." She smiled. Their eyes met again. "So, Monday night," Luke said leadingly.

"It was a good night, that Monday night," Lorelai supplied, her eyes still glued to his.

"Um… how good?" he asked uncertainly.

Lorelai closed her eyes, summoning the courage she needed to take that proverbial first step. Her hand brushed against his cheek and she leaned into his body, pinning him to the wall. She stood on the tips of her toes, and brought her lips to his ear as she whispered, "This good," before covering his mouth with hers. Luke immediately wrapped his strong arms around her frame, pulling her closer to him, tickling her lips with the hot breath that escaped from his nose. She gasped when his tongue touched her lower lip, and sighed when his hands found her breasts and caressed them through her coat. When their tongues finally met, Lorelai's knees weakened and she moaned into the kiss, spurring Luke on even further. Teeth clashed, lips teased and tugged, and tongues tasted relentlessly. Lorelai finally pried herself from his vice grip and restored her desperately depleted oxygen level.

"Sookie thinks we would make incredible babies," Lorelai said with a smirk.

"You and Sookie?" Luke asked.

"Me and you," Lorelai corrected.

"Huh."

"I think we should date first, though. What do you think?"

Luke smiled. "I'm good with that."

"Um… how good?" Lorelai asked, repeating his earlier words.

He pulled her into his chest, and resumed his attack on her senses, kissing her with even more intensity and longing. They kissed for minutes at a time, turning the experiment into a habit that neither of them ever wanted to break.

Luke grasped her shoulders firmly and created some distance between them. "I really need to get back the diner," he said regretfully. "Come with me?"

She smiled and kissed him lightly on the lips. "You bet."

B~B~B~B~B~B~B

Luke rounded the counter with coffee pot in-hand. Lorelai sat on a stool, staring after him with lustful eyes, making him blush on more than one occasion.

The bells jingled, and Kirk entered the diner. He skittishly approached Luke and placed a lemon on the counter in front of him.

"What the hell is this?" Luke demanded.

"A gift," Kirk said, "from Taylor."

"A lemon? He gave me a lemon?" Luke asked in amazement.

Kirk swallowed nervously. "I'm just the messenger."

"Well, if life deals you lemons," Lorelai began.

"Don't finish that sentence," Luke warned her.

"Make lemonade," Kirk said, doing the honours for her.

"Out!" Luke ordered. "Get out now!"

Kirk frowned. "Taylor is right. You _are _as sour as a lemon," he said, tripping over a chair on his way out the door.

"Clearly that boy has been hit with the stupid stick," Lorelai murmured.

Luke shook his head, breathing heavy and rubbing his fingers together. He glanced at Lorelai, and without hesitation, she nodded toward the door, giving him her blessing. He smiled, leaning across the counter to kiss her, before barging out the door for round two with Taylor.

B~B~B~B~B~B~B

So, the sidewalk sale wasn't a complete success, but Stars Hollow welcomed several new bundles of joy the following year. And Luke and Jackson were last seen buying overpriced diapers at Doose's.

**The End.**

_A/N: __Words/phrases I had to include: snoopy, onesie, 'I wanna talk about me, I wanna talk about I', boils my craw, jambalaya, world of warcraft, that's what he said, plotz, bloviate, if life deals you lemons, make lemonade, hit with the stupid stick, thyme, Spanky, Finding Nemo_

_Now, for an added level of fun, you can read back through the story again to make sure I included everything. Heheheh. If you've made it this far, I thank you. :)_


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